The Three Secrets of a Happy Family Life

First Principle: The Principle of Trust
When you live with a man or plan to live with him, it is very important to understand the following. In a family, a man and a woman spend a lot of time together. If you take a yearly average, it’s about two-thirds of a day – if you count the evening, night, morning and weekends. The quality of the relationship depends on the quality of this communication.

Imagine that there are two people who have only one point of contact, only one common interest, against which they have become close: a hobby, a passion, sexual attraction. But this point is still there, otherwise nothing would have happened between them. Next, everything depends on how much these people can open up to each other, how much they can find a circle of interests where they touch even more points.

In the process of mutual opening, people begin to have new common themes and interests. The more you talk about yourself, about what you care about, and the more information you accept about the other person, the more likely a strong union. And vice versa. The only exception is probably the information about the past relationships. It is better not to discuss them.

The main fear in such a case is to open up. The fear that the partner will hurt, hurt. But only when you are not afraid that you will be hurt, you become stronger. Remember that everything is in our heads: if you are afraid of something, it will happen. If you don’t trust the person in something, creating a close relationship and a happy family life under such conditions becomes impossible. The level of trust is determined by how open you are to each other.

There is a very strong energy potential in a family. When two people move together toward some common goal that ignites each of them, it’s very energizing for everyone individually and for the family as a whole. Of course, you each have and should have individual goals and outcomes. But shared accomplishments are essential to maintaining the relationship. The point is to constantly be in some kind of joint movement.

In teams, in order to unite them, hold various team building, corporate parties. What for? Joint passage of obstacles and achievement of results improves the quality of relationships in the team and increases motivation and results already in the work. It also works in the family.

Plans for the future
It is important to understand for yourself what you want to achieve in life. How do you see yourself in old age, what kind of person will be with you then. What kind of relationship you want, what level of material well-being in family life. You must create this picture for yourself. It will become your reference point, in the direction of which you can grow and develop, and – look for a person with whom you will do it together. Because it’s much more exciting to create a goal together, and then achieve it, than it is alone.

When you meet a person, you can start right there. “You know, I drew myself the next picture of the future and I want to get there. Are you interested in that? If you want to, let’s go together.” It’s important to see a very distant picture and build on that to find a life partner.

Approach the question of building a relationship as a path that you’re going to take anyway. You’ve invented that path, you believe in it, it’s important to you. But when you go down it with someone, it will be a lot more fun, joyful, and faster. If your partner also cares about coming to this goal, they too begin to plan what to do to achieve it, to invest in it.

Important point. It is impossible to calculate everything. But it is important to make plans. I do not urge you to plan your life to the end, in its entirety. But draw a picture of old age, which will inspire you, and do not hesitate to talk about it, even unfamiliar men and women. Because you don’t have much time. Each of us has only one life and it’s important to live it in the best possible way. And the sooner you create a deep happy relationship, the faster you will move towards your goals.

The third principle of shared growth
You need to constantly grow together to achieve what you want. If one person starts to lag behind and slow down in the process, it greatly slows down the other person. Relationships are about constant growth. You need to support yourself and your partner to grow as well. It’s not about “kicks” and pressure, it’s about creating comfort so that the atmosphere is conducive to growth. And it is important not to crush the person with your own development. Something will be faster for you and something will be faster for him. But the main thing is to monitor that there is constant progress.

There are people who choose a partner on the principle “just wait and see”: if they succeed, fine, if they fail, I’ll change partners. But if you initially enter into communication with such thoughts, then any serious relationship is out of the question.

It is important to honestly choose a partner and help him grow with you. That way both of you can not only build a happy family life, but also achieve the brightest results in life.